Off Topic: B&D Reply

[Rudich, Robert A]

In the alternate reality that I live in, B&D replied to the self trepanation
letter (www.btf.com/crank2/crnk2-16.htm) that was reprinted here.  The text
follows.

Dear Mr. Koyen,

Congratulations on your purchase of the Black & Decker D1000.  We feel that
this tool will serve you well for the length of time that you will retain
sentience.

Since the procedure you described is not a usual application, I had to
consult with our Engineering division to answer your question properly.  You
are correct that the carbide-tipped Glass and Tile drill bit (#16905) is
best used with a variable speed drill at a low setting when drilling hard
materials.  However, based on your letter, we do not feel that your skull
will fall into this category.  The 1/2" metal/wood drill bit (#17204) you
are considering seems appropriate for your application.  Our engineers also
feel that the free flow of blood will lubricate and cool the bit should your
skull prove harder than we suspect.  Thus, your purchase of the D1000 and
the  1/2" metal/wood drill bit should meet your needs fully.  The speed of
this combination should keep the time that you experience any discomfort to
a minimum.

Since we do not design for this application, we will not honor our warranty
in case the tools fail to perform to your expectation.  We doubt you will be
able to complain in this case.  We do not wish to become directly associated
with self trepanation, but you have made us aware of a potential new market.
 As a result, we are considering corporate  sponsorship of a Brain Surgeons
tour.

Thanks for your interest in Black & Decker tools.

Sincerely,
Weederman Boffo
Vice President, Customer Service

Cheers,
   ( )--(a)
   (@=@=) \     Rudy the ferret mage
   O__)  \ \___
      \   \      (Ever watchful for Hawks from above & beyond)
      /\ * )  \   Convert, or feel the Needle Gun!