OFF TOPIC (very funny)

[M Holmes]

Hardman DK writes:

> Pardon me for bunging up the list with non-BOC/HW material. HOwever, I
> did think the following was very funny and that list members might
> appreciate it.
>
> Dave
>
> ---------- Forwarded message ----------
>
> Newgroups:
> alt.misc.forteana Subject: Anarchy In China Town
>
> The following was reported by M. Burgess using
> the Fortean Times - On line reporting service
>
> -----------------------------------------------------------
>
> Seen in China News on 15/9/95
>
>
> " Wang Mo-Lin confessed to reporters at a news conference in Panchiao,
> after the town's Broken Life Festival had ended amid scenes of
> violence and disarray. "Frankly, what was supposed to be a serious
> concert of alternative music was treated by most of the groups as an
> opportunity to cause trouble." Wang, the director of Taiwan's Body
> Phase Studio performance art troupe, explained how the evening had
> degenerated into chaos: "First the leader of the Swiss group
> "Schimpfluch_ ran around the hall dressed in bin liners and randomly
> kissing women, until one of them bit him so hard on the lip that he
> had to be taken to hospital. Next, the Japanese noise group C.C.C.C.
> abandoned their performance, because the previous act had dumped sewer
> water over the audience, and the stench caused their drummer to vomit
> during his solo. Then it got worse.  Z.S.L.Q.'s entire act consisted
> of a short man in stockings being chased around the hall by a couple
> who, when they caught him, crammed garbage, gravel and rotting food
> into his mouth. By the time Eric Lai came on and swallowed a live boa
> constrictor, which then crawled unharmed out of his colon, members of
> the audience were vomiting in their seats. And finally, knowing that
> only an act of extreme insanity could top what had come before, LTK
> Community ended the evening by pouring gasoline all over the stage,
> setting fire to it and gutting the entire auditorium. I now plan to
> take this show to Europe, and have been told by a British policeman to
> contact Andrew Lloyds Webber, a man who understands the avante garde
> and owns many theatres in London."

Sounds perfect for the new Globe Theatre ;-)

FoFP