HW: April Fool comes late when it's for Hawkwind!

[Carl E. Anderson]

        Well, he're my April Fool Hawkwind offering--late, but I suppose
that's only appropriate for Hawkwind ;)

[sorry, couldn't resist the Scylding reference! ;) ]

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ROCK IMPRESSARIO DIES IN SLASHER SHOCKER
Hawkwind to Release Landmark New Album
Tour and Movie Deals Follow?

London - Last night passersby in London were treated to a gory spectacle as
rock impressario Doug Smith was brutally murdered before their amazed eyes.
Mr. Smith, best known for his role as long time manager of rock group
Hawkwind, was leaving his offices when suddenly beset by a unknown assailant,
described only as pale, with long white hair, furry silver boots and an
enormous sword.  With cries of "You were a thousand times more evil than I"
the alleged killer fell upon Mr. Smith and hewed him to pieces before escaping
with many a joyful cry.
        When asked for comment on the abrupt demise of his long-time
associate, Dave Brock, leader of the band Hawkwind, seemed strangely
refreshed and optimistic.  "Yeah, you know Doug was a complete bastard," Mr.
Brock was quoted as saying.
        According to Mr. Brock, the understandable shake-ups within the band
cause by the death of their long-time manager have caused them to rethink
their musical strategy and as a result they plan to record a new studio album
this summer reflecting their radical new outlook.  "Yeah," said Mr. Brock,
"I think we're going to return to our roots a bit--a more organic sound.  I
think we've taken the sequencing and techno-derived sound about as far as it
can go.  We've got to go back to the source and rediscover new directions.
By recapturing the cosmic and univeral forces we harnessed on our early
material I hope we can define a new Hawkwind sound that will carry us into
the 25th century.  Er, it is the 25th century we're entering, isn't it?'
        Mr. Brock had a great deal more to say on this topic, most of it
incoherent.
        According to Alan Davey, bass guitar player for Hawkwind, the demise
of Mr. Smith has had many unexpected joyful consequences.  "We've patched up
our relations with a lot of our old member," says Mr. Davey, "most of whom
would have payed good money to thread rusty crowbars through Dougy's major
bodily orifaces.  On our new album we'll be having guest appearances from
Lemmy [Kilmister] and Nik [Turner], though they won't be joining on a
permanent basis.  Simon [House] will be joining as though, as will Del
[Detmar].  Del didn't want to relocate from Canada, but we found a lot of
cash Doug [Smith] had stashed in his sock drawer and told Del we'd pay him
his back royalties.  He's en route to Devon as we speak!  We want to get
Mike Moorcock to do some guest poetry reading as well."
        We contacted Mr. Kilmister (aka "Lemmy") at his Los Angeles flat,
and he seemed enthusiastic about the project.   When asked for comment on
Mr. Smith's alleged and as yet unidentified murderer, Mr. Kilmister told us,
"[Expletive]!  I'll [expletive] have the little [expletive]'s [expletive]
baby!  [Expletive]!"
        Mr. Turner could not be reached for comment, but his ansaphone
graced us with the sound of a duck being noisily strangled.
        We were given further information from Mr. Brock on the approach
being taken on the new studio project.  "Yeah, we're going for the stripped
down approach for a really raw and energetic sound, though we'll be recording
on state-of-the-art equipment for really high quality sound.  We'll do
the basic tracks pretty much live in the studio, and then add some overdubs
and the guest appearances. Serious blanga!  But I'm ridding my guitar rig
of the various modern signal processors.  It'll be just me and my guitar
and my amp.  And my fuzzbox.  And my wah pedal.  And my echo unit.  And
my phaser.
        "But we'll be relying totally on Del and Simon for the synths and
audio generators.  No more sequencers!  It was expensive buying software
updates for them anyway.  Alan and his Rick, Richard and his drums.  Plus
I'll see if I can find my acoustic guitar--I think the kids' gerbils were
nesting in it."
        According to Mr. Brock the new studio project will be attempting to
pick up where the band's legendary _Space Ritual_ extravanganza left off.
"We'd like to do a big tour eventually, 'Earth Ritual', which we've
planned for a long time.  With proper dancers like the old days--not
these crappy fire-eaters we've been using!  The new studio album will be
called _Matter of Terra_ and we'll be using a lot of material inspired by
ley lines and stone circles and other cosmic, universal earth magic stuff.
        "We're hoping we can do the Earth Ritual tour with a bunch of
other bands, sort of like that Lollapalooza thing in the States.  Yeah.
Now that Dougy's kicked it--I mean, sadly departed--we can go tour with
the Ozrics, Monster Magnet, Darxtar, Arch Met, Scylding, Sons of Selina...
all these great new bands.  Of course, we'll put out a double, maybe a
triple CD and LP from the tour."
        Hawkwind's new found energy appears to be drawing them even beyond
these ambitious plans.  Mr. Brock reveals that Steven Spielberg has
approached them to do the title theme and soundtrack for his new Dr. Who
movie.  "Well, Stevie [Spielberg] is a big fan of course," says Mr. Brock.
"And that Doctor guy is really trippy, so, yeah ..."