OFF: Nominee for this year's Darwin Awards

[Paul G Ward]

Hi people,

This is just too interesting.

Sonique

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You all know about the Darwin Awards - It's an annual honor given to
the person who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing
themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way. Last year's winner
was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on
top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out of it.  And
this year's nominee is:

The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal
embedded into the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of
a curve. The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it
was a car. The  type of car was unidentifiable at the scene. The lab
finally figured out what it was and what had happened.

It seems that a guy had somehow gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet
Assisted Take Off - actually a solid fuel rocket) that is used to give
heavy  military transport planes an extra "push" for taking off from
short airfields. He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert
and found a long, straight stretch of road. Then he attached the JATO
unit to his car, jumped in, got up some speed and fired off the JATO!

The facts as best as could be determined are that the operator of the
1967 Impala hit JATO ignition at a distance of approximately 3.0 miles
from the crash site. This was established by the prominent scorched
and melted asphalt at that location. The JATO, if operating properly,
would have reached  maximum thrust within 5 seconds, causing the Chevy
to reach speeds well in  excess of 350 mp and continuing at full power
for an additional  20- 25 seconds.  The driver, soon to be pilot, most
likely would have experienced G-forces usually reserved for
dog-fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners, basically causing him
to become insignificant for the remainder of the event.  However, the
automobile remained on the straight highway for about 2.5 miles
(15-20) seconds before the driver applied and completely melted the
brakes,  blowing the tires and leaving thick rubber marks on the road
surface, then  becoming airborne for an additional 1.4 miles and
impacting the cliff face at a  height of 125 feet leaving a blackened
crater 3 feet deep in the rock.

Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable; however, small
fragments of bone, teeth and hair were extracted from the crater and
fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris
believed to be a portion  of the steering wheel.


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Paul Ward,                     R & D Manager, P & C Micro's Pty Ltd
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Business Mail:                                  paul at pcmicro.com.au
Private Mail:                            sonique at www.pcmicro.com.au
World Wide Web:                 http://www.pcmicro.com.au/~Sonique/
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