OFF:Re:McDonalds Incident (was:READ THIS)

[Jerry]

And, some other coffee-in-lap-accident...

"The next landign was the worst. The hopper hit a metal drain cover with
such violence, that Lister bit his cigarette in half, and the glowing tip
felt between his thighs and rolled under the seat of his pants. [...]
Something was burning.
It smelled like hair. And since he was the only thing in the hopper that
had hair, it was fairly safe to assume some part of him was on fire. Some
part of him that had hair. He liked all the parts of him that had hair.
They were his favourite bits.
[...]
Smoke began to plume from Lister's legs.
Still nowhere to park.
[...]
In desperation he grabbed the thermos flask lying on the passenger seat,
struggled with the unfamiliar cap, and poured the contents into his
smouldering lap.
A hiss signalled the end of the cigarette. There was a second of delicious
relief.
Then he smelled coffee. Hot coffee. Piping hot coffee... Piping hot coffee
that covered his loins."

[from 'Red Dwarf' by Grant Naylor (= Doug Grant and Rob Naylor).]

Jerry