Off:Trepan me - off the alien!

[M Holmes]

Gary Wingert writes:

> Los Altos, California:
>
> A 42-year-old unemployed carpenter parked his truck on
> a Los Altos residential street, pulled out his tools,
> then repeatedly pounded a chisel into his head, nearly
> killing himself, police said Monday.
>
> The man said he was trying to eliminate a virus
> injected into his brain by aliens, but the effort --
> considered by police to be a suicide attempt -- left
> him with a crushed skull.
>
> "There are buildings, there are bridges, but, come on,
> this is someone who was really intent on doing it," said
> Detective Sgt. Bob Lacey of the Los Altos Police
> Department. "It's just mind-boggling that this occurred."
>
> Police responded after a neighborhood woman reported a
> bloodied man was staggering near a Ford pickup truck.
> He looked so gruesome that the woman asked him if the
> blood was part of a Halloween prank, Lacey said.
>
> The man revealed he recently had been laid off from
> work and was being evicted from his apartment, Lacey
> said. The man explained in graphic detail how he pulled
> into the street near a community center, grabbed two
> knives and three chisels, then plopped his head on the
> rear bumper before driving the tools into it.
>
> Lacey said officers did not find a suicide note with
> the man, who was committed last year for a psychiatric
> evaluation by Mountain View police.
>
> A hospital spokeswoman Monday afternoon said the man
> was in fair condition. Police did not press charges.

What for? Assault And Battery? ;-)

FoFP