OFF: The brave men and women of the Oslo police

[Christian]

Well, I continue to surprise myself. This morning I was released from jail!!

We were celebrating a friend's 30th birthday, and of course things got a
little rowdy (we topped off a night of beer drinking with a large bottle of
Johny Walker and shots of Vargtass (a kind of cranberry vodka)), and we
headed out to continue our merriment after the neighbors had the police
drop by, to put an end to that blaring Motorhead!! (sonic attack, anyone??)
Well, at one place the doorman refused to let me in (because I'd had a few
to many... in fact I'd earlier 'baptized' the the birthday guy in a whole
1/2 liter of beer!). So I then tried to force my way in... Immediatly I had
three guys over me trying to force me to the ground, and eventually they
did, with my arms held behind my back (I have bruises all over, my
shoulders and wrists hurt like a bitch still), I laid there for half an
hour with one guy sitting on top of me while they called the cops, and one
friend kept trying to talk them into letting me go, but no, this was such a
serious issue the law should be involved. So, I was righteously pissed, and
when three police officers arrive to take me away even more so, they
handcuffed (!) me and since I refused to enter the patrolcar they had to
carry me into the back seat... So I'm screaming and yelling etc. all the
way and they drag me out at the station, book me, take my belt, necklace,
keys, wallet and cigarettes (which they *kept*, of course) and toss me in a
tiny cell with no windows, or anything, just a floor and a hole to piss in.
I kept going all night yelling insults, that they wouldn't have a job
unless people like me paid taxes etc. etc. So next morning they let me out
and informed me that I'd been charged with drunk and disorderly behavior,
urinating in public and resisting arrest!! I __know__ I did not urinate
there, but that's a common trick bouncers use so that people get arrested
for sure - recently there's been several cases of violent bouncers, so
that's what they do if they can't beat you up. The worst part is the fine
of 2500 KR (about £ 230 or $ 300), and I'm taking it to court because it's
ridiculous, unfair and I'm not paying it no matter what. So after that I
get my stuff back (minus the smokes of course) and get tossed in a kind of
waiting cell as they "do the paperwork", there were actually benches and
some grafitti to look at at least. I'm in there for an hour before I can go
because they "forgot" me there!!! Anyway, the punchline here is: as my last
rite in jail, with a coin I scraped into the door in big bold letters.....
"HAWKWIND"!!!!

Bastards!!




Christian

ObSong: "Have You Ever Spent the Night In Jail?" - The Standells