Repost: Furry Silver Boots

[M Holmes]

Reposted from newsgroup alt.peeves circa 1993:


egpv29 at castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson) writes:

>In article <26496 at skye.dcs.ed.ac.uk> Not_Al_Crawford at ed.ac.uk (Not Al Crawford)
 writes:
>--
>--(*) Which leads me to a supplementary peeve. The mental image I had built
>--up of Mike Holmes over the past few months was one of a huge, hairy
>--Hawkwind fan with hair down to his knees, a beat-up leather jacket with
>--"Hawkwind" on it and furry silver boots (obligatory apparel for Hawkwind
>--fans I believe).

>You forgot to mention the well-thumbed copy of Lord of the Rings.

With my longtime experience of Hawkwind gigs (some of which I can even
remember) and considerable research in drinking establishments both
before and after the gigs, I can now offer the definitive version of
what the well dressed *real* Hawkwind fan is wearing this century:

The basic article is the labcoat. Dave Brock wore this item on a few
tours but 1976, 1980, and 1986 spring immediately to mind. Fans began
wearing these around 1979 or 1980. The labcoat should be decorated with
patches from as many tours as possible. The rear should have a felt tip
pen sketch of an album cover (Space Ritual and Warrior on the Edge of
Time are particular favourites) and bonus points are awarded for further album
covers drawn on the pockets. Tour badges should be pinned on any other
available space. This ensures that once zerogee sets in during the gig,
the attendee will remain firmly on the ground. Bouncers just hate it
when folks start floating. The labcoat should be autographed by the band if
at all possible. Bonus points are given for signatures of any of the 43
ex-members of Hawkwind.

Denim jeans are, of course, obligatory. Holes in these are an optional
extra. Female Hawkfans will often choose to supplement these with
legwarmers in Scotland or by sawing off the legs (of the jeans :-) in
almost any other climate.

Tour t-shirts are mandatory. There is of course a certain choice to be
made. If you've already been to a Hawkwind gig on the current tour then
it is considered appropriate to arrive at the gig wearing the current
tour t-shirt. This will ensure that people will talk to you and ask
questions about who is in the band this week, what tracks will be played
at the gig, and whether you've already obtained a tape of last night's
gig from the guy on the mixing desk. You are in fact recognised to be An
Authority.

If this is the first gig on the tour, or dumb stuff like jobs, wives,
and girlfriends have prevented you reaching previous gigs, then you have
a tricky decision to make. You search the bottom of the cupboard and
find that you now have 27 Hawkwind t-shirts, 3 sweatshirts, and a jumper
once worn by Del Dettmar. In this case it's best to choose the t-shirt
from the tour-that-was-unannounced and that only the Initiated attended.
The Acid Daze tour used to be good for this until they reissued the
t-shirts. Now it's probably best to go for one of the vintage tours like
Sonic Attack or perhaps Spirit of the Age. If in doubt, wear a Bob
Calvert t-shirt: it's a limited edition and if you wear a black
headband, folks will think you're still in mourning and maybe buy you a
drink.

Leather jackets are permissible and particularly favoured by bikers
whose favourite track is almost always "Angels of Death". Denim jackets
are favoured by most others, so much so in fact that it's almost
impossible to get them back after girlfriends borrow them "just for the
gig".

Long hair is favoured by many longtime fans. Those who were at the Isle
of Wight gig in '69 will usually advertise the fact by wearing a
fashionable bald spot on the top of their head.

Furry silver boots are not reccomended.

As for what you're carrying. Well the authorities can often take a keen
interest in this either before or after the gig. Lord of the Rings
doesn't cut it though. It's de rigeur to have the current tour program
handy and you should also carry either the Italian lyric book, or the
latest album, just in case you meet a band member who can autograph it.
A complete list of your live tapes collection is also useful for when
you meet someone trading these.

On the other hand, you could wear a spacesuit. You'll probably be able
to walk on to the stage and play synth. Everyone will figure it's
another ex-member come back to guest for a bit.

How to behave:

First head for a pub that's reasonably near the gig. This is best done
about four hours beforehand if adequate preparation is to be made. The
pub will already be full of very hairy people. The real Hawkwind fans
will be wearing labcoats. The regular but uncomitted will be wearing
tour t-shirts and denims, and if there's a short Scottish guy with
blond hair there, you should buy him a drink. There will be a number of
incredibly young looking folks too. They became fans with the Live
Chronicles LP and can be easily amused with tales of any of the 70's
tours when you were a lad....

It's then necessary to drink copious quantities of alcohol and talk to
other fans about what the best album is, your favourite tour, how hard
it is to get the Hassan I Sabha single etc. Brownie points are awarded
here for tales of having seen Hawkwind at any Free Festival.

During the gig it's important to recognise at least the regular songs.
Credibility is totally lost if you don't recognise Master of the
Universe or Magnu by the third note. If you decided to sing along and
you get the lyrics wrong, don't worry, the band never seem too sure
either at times. Pretending you recognise every song is not advised.
They do occassionally try out some new ones and if you're freaking out
while everyone else is looking puzzled then no one will buy you a drink
after the gig. This situation can only be saved by "Oh, Dave and Alan
were trying this one out at a private party last week.....".

If any unusual cigarrettes happen your way, it's obligatory to take
them. Whether you inhale or not is personal choice. Try to remember to
pass it on.

Do not do this if the guy next to you is very tall and dressed only in
black and white. This would be a serious faux pas.

After the gig you will probably be confused, your ears will be ringing,
and things will mostly be rotating. It is important to avoid going out
into the street singing the words to Hassan I Sabha. This will earn you
weird looks from people who weren't at the gig and possibly the
attention of the local constabulary.

The real fans are now behind the theatre hoping to talk to the band
backstage. The others are in the pub organising tape swaps. Look for the
blond Scot and buy him more beer.

Next week: Hawkwind mispressings. Know your stuff.

FoFP