OFF: Smokey The Bear's Seven Steps To Success

[christmu at EUNET.NO]

 (: (: (:  Smokey The Bear public safety Good Morning message v. 1.0 :) :) :)
***Administered in Seven Steps for Your Complete Daily Nutritional
Allowance***
             AN ALL-STAR SALARYMAN SUICIDE VICTORY PRODUCTION

1)
When invading small countries consisting of stocky non-english speaking
peasants, extinguish all smoking materials pre-flight and gently apply
napalm only in carefully selected areas.

2)
When entering all official institutions, be armed and always shoot first on
first sight, and always bring fresh clips for extra safety caution.

3)
When signing up to your local  secret service constabulary, lay off smoking
materials for the morning, or drink plenty of vinegar so to pass the
urinalasys. Remember, getting a foot in the door and leaving a good
impression is what counts, and with the right badge and plenty of luck, you
can even get to raid your very own underground factory!

4)
Girls, when playing near nuclear power plants, beware of suspicious looking
boys with more than ten fingers. They may seduce you  with damn good banjo
playing, but keep a safe distance, and extinguish all smoking materials and
pocket them safely for later.

5)
For better spending of your hard earned USD on eradicating vegetation which
pose a direct threat to your President X/Y voting confidence, Smokey now
uses biological weapons safely developed by the Third Reich, for your
convenience. Smokey instead recommends you self administer Third World
caffeine product as an alternative President X/Y voting confidence booster,
as always approved by the DEA, and usually the FDA.

6)
When engaging in sexual intercourse, make sure that in selected states
that: a) your partner is of the opposite sex, b) your keep your upper
orifices away from their lower orifices or organs, and finally, c) that you
extinguish all smoking materials until later.

7)
When driving intoxicated, make sure that: a) you set fire to your
automobile when you are pulled over by your local Public Servant and asked
"Where's the fire?", b) consider there is a chance you might be listening
to Hawkwind without seatbelts, and finally, c) make sure you are not out of
fuel or relevant smoking materials.


So, play it safe, boys and girls, and you will be on the road to fame and
fortune before you know it!

-Smokey


----
Chr-