OFF: Scientology// DUMPSTER DIVING

[The Automind]

One afternoon about a week ago I went scavenging through a large
dumpster i noticed behind the Boston Scientology mission. I thought it
would be funny to do this, not really expecting to unearth any secret
documents (though I hoped I would find a busted e-meter or something).
Anyway, from the looks of the rubbish, it seems they had recently
refurnished the interior of the building and had rented the dumpster for
throwing out all the old stuff.

Amongst bits and pieces of things I found desks, electric typwriters, a
printer, and at least 3 computers (386's)- all smashed beyond repair,
probably from being thrown into the dumpster- however, there were two
VGA MONITORS that looked undamaged. Also 3 perfectly good (though
slightly worn) swivelling office chairs.


I intended to take the monitors, but as I was handing the first one down
to my friend over the side this guy sort of floats up to us out of
nowhere. He was about 6', very skinny and mean looking, short black hair
and a finely trimmed moustache. He had the most fucked up eyes I've ever
seen! The right one was looking directly at me, the left staring in
another direction to my right. On his shirt collar (though it looked
like it was soldered into his throat) this silver medallion with some
sort of design on it, I was afraid he would see me staring at it so I
couldn't study it for too long. I was guessing at least OT3 here!

Him: "This dumpster isn't for fishing around in"
Me:  "Oh, I'm not up to anything, I just wanted to see if any of
this was salvageable."
Him: Well its not yours so get out of there
Me: Yeah well you threw this stuff out, and i'd like these two
monitors.
Him: GIVE them to me and then leave this area
Me: What will you do them?
Him: I'll throw them out
Me: so why can't I have them?
Him: Do you want to give me $100 for them?
Me:  no! they're completely w-
Him: Get out or I'll call the police!!

So I did, and after he went inside, Kevin followed him and asked the guy
at the desk if we could take them. Having been switched into friendly
recruiting mode he cheerily gave us permission, though he said that 'the
horizontal scan was broken on both of them' (the same acute problem on
two separate monitors? bloody looooooooney >:| )
.

Needless to say, both work perfectly and I've got mine wired up to my
stereo right now, producing multi-colored rings in beautiful response to
Spirit Of the Age. COSMIC!



Oh yeah!-When I went back into the dumpster to get them the second time,
I spotted a silver Zippo lighter that had fluid in it and everything. I
think it must have fallen out of that guy's breast pocket when he leaned
over the side to try to take the monitor from me. Having no use for it I
gave it to my girlfriend, and oddly enough she quit smoking 4 days
later.

Other stuff I got in other dumpsters in that area on that day:

-2 cordless phones w/ no handsets
-an unopened UPS package containing a box of unexpired checkbooks
-an MIT textbook on Advanced Circuit Theory
-a box of 12 unused blank tapes (generic, medium quality)

The most remarkeable things my friends and I have found dumpster diving:

-[mine]-an almost brand new, perfectly good sony trinitron 13"  TV/Video
monitor

-an entire drumset (no joke! Rich students from Berklee School of music
just throw anything out that won't fit into their cars at the end of the
semester. I forget what make it was, but it was a nice job with electric
lights and everything. Mike still has it)

-an electric guitar (wasn't there for that find)

-[mine]-a pencil case full of coins from U.S. and at least 5 European
countries (i think it had $6 US)

-a working battery-operated cassette player

-a working telephone/answering machine

-[mine] a working clock-radio (I lost it the next day)


               THE AUTOMIND IS NOT AMUSED


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