OFF: GODZILLA REVIEW

[Nick English]

Actually, I won't bore you with a corny attempt to do a Leonard
Maltin or Siskel and Ebert. But here's my basic overview:

First and foremost: GODZILLA SUCKS!

Being a fan of the series since about age 5, I can't pretend I had no
preconceived notions. But I really went into this knowing it would be
much different than the Japanese flicks. Even so, I literally found
almost NO redeeming value to this film.

First of all, the plot is almost MORE nonsensical than that of the
average Japanese Zilla. The dialogue, especially in the lovey-dovey
subplot, is guaranteed to make you cringe.

I'm by far not the most P.C. dude out there, but this movie also
takes a serious stab at the French. I don't mind a little ethnic
humor if it's done tastefully and perhaps a little affectionately,
but that wasn't the case here. In this flick it was just sloppy and
stereotypical.

The entire middle section of the film has our heroes running around
Madison Square Garden trying to avoid being gored by a horde of
nine-foot-tall baby Godzillas (read: Raptors).

When we were talking about this film a couple weeks ago, I said it
looked like it was gonna be 'Steven Spielberg's Godzilla'. Someone
(Can't remember who), said he doubted director Roland Emmerich would
have to ride on Spielberg's coattails. I can now respond by saying
that is exactly what he and producer Dean Devlin (who wrote the
script) have done. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if Spielberg
could sue them for copyright infringement and win.

I know nothing I could say would dissuade people from going to see
this movie. Hell, no bad review from anyone could have kept me from
checking it out for myself. But from what I think I know about the
folks on this list, I'll just warn you now that YOU WILL BE 100%
DISAPPOINTED.

If you loved the 'Jurassic Park' movies, you might find a little
something here that's to your liking. But even that is stretching
things a bit.

I sincerely believe that even if I knew nothing about the Japanese
Godzilla films whatsoever, I would still rank this among my worst
cinematic experiences in years. 'Mortal Kombat: The Annihilation' was
a better movie.

YUCK!

--  Nick