HW: Help for a paper

M Holmes fofp at HOLYROOD.ED.AC.UK
Mon Oct 26 06:05:57 EST 1998


J. Scruton writes:

> Hey there Hawkgang,
>
> Probably opening up a bag of worms, I'm thinking about writing a paper on
> the political interpretations of rock groups -- both in the material they
> play and
> how they are received, etc.

Ah well, I may have something for you here. My fave "political" item was
this lovely ditty based on the British "Spycatcher" affair. Basically
there was an ex MI5 spy called Peter Wright who, in contravention of the
Official Secrets Act, wrote a book about secrets and the activity of
MI5. He published from Australia and the Thatcher Government proptly
banned the book. This, as these things do, gave it excellent promotion
and it became the most heavily "smuggled" item into Britain for a while.
Even in a nation where half the population don't own a book, the
hardcover was sold from barrows in street markets. The book didn't
contain anything of great shock value since there can be hardly anyone
in the UK who doesn't believe that MI5 spy on opposition leaders,
dissidents, and people who don't wear the Right Sort of Tie. It was
kinda fun to see The Wicked Old Bat fulminating that Wright, the
smugglers, and so on were all way short of Proper Patriotism and
probably paid up members of The Enemy Within.



P.S: Peter Rabbit is a character from a children's fable. No relation to
Roger Rabbit.



The SpyCatcher Song
-------------------
by Leon Rosselson, Billy Bragg, et al.

Now, listen children while I sing this ballad I've just made
About a Peter Wright (not rabbit!), a spycatcher by trade
I'll sing of how he joined a special gang called MI5
Who guard the nation's secrets so that Liberty may thrive
Our young Peter, quick to learn, soon got to know the ropes
The trick of picking locks, the art of opening envelopes
The other senior officers began their working day
By trying to solve the crossword (in the "Times", needless to say)

        But of all the strange things I'll relate, the strangest one to me
        Is that this doggerel I'm singing contravenes Subsection Three
        For Nanny (God Bless Nanny!) thinks it wouldn't do for you
        To know about the naughty things that grownup people do.

SF (Special Facility) was Peter's favourite toy
And night and day he played with it, like any little boy
For tapping phones and bugging rooms were things he loved the best
Five years - says Wright - we bugged and burgled at the State's behest.
They bugged the Russian embassy, which wasn't very chic
So they bugged the French, the Chinese, the Egyptian and the Greek.
They bugged Khruschev's room in Claridges, and listened in with care
While K decided on his tie, and how to part his hair.

They bugged colonial conferences, then they turned their minds
To keeping tabs on militants, and lefties of all kinds
Communists and students were the targets of their wiles
They burgled CP members homes, and stole the Party's files.
And what did it add up to? And what did it avail?
All this bugging and burgling and intercepting mail?
Did it save us from the Russians? Did it help to keep us free?
Did it keep this country green and pleasant? Did it buggery!

The trouble was - says Wright - that we often were misled
And the Russians always seemed to be a step or two ahead.
For whatever MI5 knew, the Russians knew it too,
And when we knew they knew they knew we knew they knew we knew.
Penkovsky - was he theirs or ours? A triumph or a con?
So back and forth and round and round the mazy dance went on.
While Peter set up operations Peer Group, Sunshine, Choir
And Mole, and Dew (What lovely names!) and saw them all misfire.

I fear the worst - says Peter - and this I can't forgive.
For years this Secret Service has been leaking like a sieve.
The evidence is growing, there is someone placed on high
Who is tipping off the Russians - a traitor, and a spy!
Is it Mitchell? Is it Hollis? (The outfit's own DG)
"Incredible!" I hear you cry, but Wright did not agree.
The finger points to Hollis, I'll unmask him if I can.
He's ex-public school and Oxford - and I never liked the man.

And now this tale grows farcical, but should we laugh or cry?
For the CIA man Angleton names Wilson as a spy
And Cecil King in '68 decides to lead a coup
Against the Wilson government - so strange it *must* be true.
And certain shady businessmen ask Peter for the gen
To do the dirt on Wilson, keep him out of Number Ten.
And a group of senior officers tell Wright of their intent
To save us from the clutches of a Labour government.

Now I haven't time to tell you of the other dirty tricks
Like the plot to bump off Nasser (but that was MI6)
And of how the CIA planned in 1965
To open up their sharky mouth and swallow MI5 alive
But one more thing I feel that I should bring to your attention
For all his pains, poor Peter never got his proper pension.
So why not buy his book yourself and do the man some good?
So he can die in comfort as ex-spycatchers should.

        But of all the things I've told you, the strangest thing to me
        Is that this doggerel I'm singing contravenes Subsection Three
        For Nanny (God Bless Nanny!) thinks it wouldn't do for you
        To know about the naughty things that grownup people do.



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