BOC: "Dick" Meltzer

[John A. Swartz]

While some may have found Meltzer's "review" of BOC entertaining, I
didn't.  Yeah, I know, I'm an ass-kissing fan of all things BOC, but still...

First of all, I suspect that a lot of what was written in that article
was bullshit.  He dropped a lot of unsubstantiated stuff in that article
(Allen in rehab, Buck about to be divorced).  Sure, maybe I just don't
WANT to believe stuff like that -- but even if it is true (and no one I
know has given any indication that it is), I think the guy is a shit for
printing it.

I also disliked how he can look at the people in the crowd and make a
statement like "a dork in an $80 sweatsuit and doing the twist and
holding a beer who looks like he lives with his mother (and maybe an
aunt)".  Where the hell does he get off writing shit like this?

Meltzer's ear for music is obviously affected by his personal issues
with the band.  While BOC fans all over acknowledge how much better of a
guitar player Buck has become over the years, Meltzer writes "Buck's
playing was identical to what it was in '76..."  Give me a break!

Finally, he seems to feel that his "uncouth behavior" at Buck's wedding
was no big deal.  Yet he seems proud of the fact that he felt up Buck's
mother (or so he claims) and made a total arse of himself.  Speaking of
this incident, Sandy Roeser (Buck's wife) had this to say after reading
Meltzer's review:

"That's what we get for letting Rumplestiltskin come to our wedding.
(BTW, he wasn't even invited, just like the above-mentioned troll, so he
begged to come. We felt sorry for him and let him. To show his appreciation,
he showed up drunk, exposed his pitiful genitals to some of our guests, then
crawled into the darkness when told the police were on their way...never
to be
seen again. Until Portland, I guess. He never broke a window either.)
Always remember: Beware of ugly trolls bearing gifts. (Oh, that's right. He
didn't give us anything.)"  S. Dharma


As for tBS, I don't know when they last collaborated with him with
recent lyrics - I believe most of the tBS tunes with Meltzer lyrics are
older lyrics - stuff written in the 70s.  But, I would defer to Al
Bouchard on that one...


John