OFF: : Dive! Dive! Dive! and other alarming, reactive words............. .

[Zeitgeist]

>Please note this new virus:
>
>Name:  ICANTHELPFALLINGINLOVEWITHYOU.vbs.elvis
>
>Occurence:  Worldwide and at parties
>
>Infection:  You find yourself humming it in the loo
>
>This virus is extremely dangerous.  It will:
>
>Remove all your hard drives and delete anything on any disks within
>20 feet of your computer.
>Remove the stickers from all your floppy disks.
>Tear pages at random from your work diary.
>Muddle up your memory so you think your Mum's phone number is the
>local chinese takeaway.
>Make you walk like you have just crapped yourself.
>Format Word documents so that you can only write in the past tense,
>changing all your active verbs into passive tense, incorporating
>undetectable misspellings which grossly change the interpretations
>of key sentences.
>It will screw up the tracking on your video recorder.
>It will cause you to run with scissors.
>It will demagnetize the strip on all your credit cards.
>It will curdle the milk in your fridge.
>It will cause you to evaluate your life at inopportune moments; such
>as in pay review meetings with your boss, making you appear
>an effete and ineffectual dreamer.
>Re-program your telly so that all channels now display Channel5.
>It will remove your ability to understand irony (this is a symptom
>shared with the BE-A-YANKEE virus).
>
>To find out how to cure yourself of this virus, check through all
>the stupid virus hoaxes you have received over the last
>year....................
>
>p.s.  please DON'T forward this to anyone you know





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