eweekly: geezer rock concerts

[Michaelangelo Blackman]

art thou a smeghead??


----- Original Message -----
From: Michaelangelo Blackman <michaelangelo68 at OZEMAIL.COM.AU>
To: <BOC-L at LISTSERV.SPC.EDU>
Sent: Wednesday, May 03, 2000 11:56 AM
Subject: Re: eweekly: geezer rock concerts


> smeghead
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Andrew Apold <mordru at FLITE.NET>
> To: <BOC-L at LISTSERV.SPC.EDU>
> Sent: Tuesday, May 02, 2000 10:17 AM
> Subject: eweekly: geezer rock concerts
>
>
> > Found online at:
> >
> > http://www.ew.com/ew/daily/0,2514,1321,thisissummerof.html
> >
> > Broken Hip
> > This is the summer of geezer rock concerts. Chris Nashawaty names the
> > oldies bands that should cancel the stadium tours and start poppin'
> Geritol
> > instead
> >
> > Look, I'm a sucker for classic rock as much as the next guy. In fact, a
> few
> > weeks back I even wrote a column on why I thought VH1's ''Behind the
> > Music'' was the best show on TV, specifically singling out the Lynyrd
> > Skynyrd and Mamas and the Papas episodes. Still, that doesn't mean I
want
> > to see them outside of my living room. As this summer's concert-tour
> season
> > kicks off, I'm beginning to get a little creeped out by all the grizzled
> > dinosaur acts hitting the road. It's almost like an eerie sci-fi
movie --
> > ''Encore of the Living Dead.''
> >
> > Don't get me wrong. I'm all for employing the elderly and keeping them
> busy
> > during their Geritol years. Heck, they earned it. And there actually are
a
> > few shows I wouldn't mind catching, like Bruce Springsteen, Bob Dylan,
and
> > the Allman Brothers. But some of these guys just have no shame. And I
> won't
> > even get into the sheer hypocrisy of rock stars who used to throw around
> > slogans like ''Don't trust anyone over 30'' and ''Hope I die before I
get
> > old.'' Now they're more likely to tell their fans to get the hell off
> their
> > lawns and leave the directional blinker on their tour buses as they
cruise
> > at a steady 35 MPH between gigs.
> >
> > I don't want to seem heartless. I understand that the reason most of
these
> > rockers are touring is because they probably weren't big rainy-day money
> > savers in their heydays. But I'm just worried someone may break a hip at
> > one of these shows. So in an effort to get these guys back at the Early
> > Bird Specials where they belong, I've compiled a handy ''10 Least Wanted
> > Tours Guide'' for this summer. And if you do decide to attend one of
these
> > shows, remember to really speak up when shouting out song requests.
> >
> > Styx: Just when you were finally beginning to think that not everything
> > sucked in the '70s, here comes Styx futilely trying to prove that cheese
> > never goes rotten.
> >
> > Eric Burdon and the New Animals: Just wondering, but did anyone notice
> when
> > the 'Old Animals' left?
> >
> > Blue Oyster Cult: Am I the only one who'd love to see wild man Ted
Nugent
> > at this show with his bow and arrow?
> >
> > Jefferson Starship: Their last hit album may have been 1985's ''Knee
Deep
> > in the Hoopla,'' but they're still knee-deep in something.
> >
> > Jimmy Buffett: Beneath that Hawaiian shirt resides pure evil, plain and
> > simple.
> >
> > ''Weird Al'' Yankovic: The only way you'll get me is if you get
Gallagher
> > to smash melons as your opening act.
> >
> > Night Ranger: The '80s Hair Band of ''Sister Christian'' fame is so
> > profoundly lame it doesn't even qualify as 'kitsch.'
> >
> > Loverboy: Why don't they just team up with Night Ranger and cut the
> > collective misery in half?
> >
> > Modern English: Um, 'Modern' compared to what exactly?
> >
> > The Village People: The madness must finally end... and remember, only
YOU
> > can stop it.
> >
> > =============================
> > "To dwell within Samsara, however, is to
> >  be subject to the works of those mighty
> >  among dreamers."
> >
> >  - Mahasamatman, in Zelazny's "Lord of Light"
> >
> > Andrew Apold
> >
>