OFF: (not music) The EU and the modification of English!

[DASLUD at AOL.COM]

Important announcement below:
The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been
reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As
part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year
phased plan for what will be known as Euro English ("Euro" for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly,
sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will
be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but
typewriters kan have one fewer letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like
"fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would
go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th" by "z" and "w" by "v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
"ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of
leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer
vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru.