OFF: you don't have to be American to say you are still the president

[Amphetamine Embalmer]

***METAL CLUB COMPETITION WINNER***:

Charlie Yuga, unofficial Rosecrucian Order approved
Judas Priest warrior and official Golden Dawn
sponsored crank user wins the 2001 "who can baptize
the most hippies in heavy metal contest"... Jumpin'
Jehovah! Below are the winning entries...

WINNING ARCHANGEL ENTRY, PEDESTRIAN CLASS THELEMA
FREESTYLE:

"The Father, The Son And The Holy Ghost:"

1. Aleister Crowley
2. David Bowie
3. Dr. Timothy Leary



WINNING BREAKFAST CEREAL SLOGAN:

"It looks just like bunny shit!"

WINNING PSYCHEDELIC DESCRIPTIVE:

"This blistering solar flare of thundering psychedelia
will make any juiced up and freaking reptilian boogie
and contract like a horny and evil old witchdoctor
violently trancing out on magick blotter acid!"

Charlie Yuga, prize-winning Champion Undead
Amphetamine Embalmer, thanks all past girlfriends who
were great lovers, and hopes to win again some other
time! Also thanks to The Grateful Dead, Bloomingdales,
The Cannabis Cup, Glenn Danzig, generic brand Cola,
The
Crazy World Of Arthur Brown, 'The Good, The Bad & The
Ugly', LSD, the Super Skrull Israel freakouts,
McDonald's Hamburger Restaurants, The Mekons, MTV
Europe's Dianne Warwick and Paul King, Captain Picard,
The Apocalypse, Armored Saint, The Showplace, The Rain
Parade, The Norwegian Flag, Giant Sun Trolley, Head
Chancellor Helmut Kohl,Borknagar, British Beef,
Johnny Rotten, Beer, Marlboro cigarettes, and finally
Adolf Hitler & his lovely Eva Braun - we salute you!)

CHARLIE YUGA'S PRESIDENTIAL SPEECH TO THE PEOPLE

"...wake up heads, freaks, drunks, punks, kids and
derelict outlaw goths of Belanone and The Golden Dawn!
Your very own naked, trashy and undead sister with the
beautiful shaven crotch is spreading her legs like a
slut and waiting without question because she is
fucking ready for some of you and your lovin' hussey
highness, daddy-o! Your woman is stoned, horny, free
and in love, getting smacked up at age 15 like an
idiot just for you and your sorry ass spikes and
leather speedfreak Nazarene self because the name is
Rob Halford..."


"...your name is Rob Halford senior appearing as Iggy
Pop and Peter Hammill... as a dead Hilary Stench
laying around in garages, Gwar's Oderus Urungus and
Balsac The Jaws of Death, as a youthful Bon Scott, as
Axl Rose and Slash, as SS mohawk warrior Blacky from
Voivod, as a
crazy John Bonham collapsing behind his drumkit, as
Dave Anderson and Simon King from Hawkwind, Johan
Edlund of Tiamat, Dave Vanian and Captain Sensible of
The Damned, an angry and desperate Bob Mould and
Husker Du belting out the apocalypse and a ton of
military
installatons all over NATO, Steve Hillage as Allah
saluting the swastika in full nazi regalia, a dying
Edward Ka-Spel in the cancer ward, Johnny Rotten
giving punks the finger in a hail of fucking spittle,
the clinically suicidal Ian Curtis playing with a live
noose for a final time, John Leckie as Elvis, Phil
Collins on crack, the Subhumans, the guy in Cathedral,
Gary Ramon blowing somebody's head off with a wah-wah,
Jello Biafra in a Harley t-shirt, Larry Wallis'
awesome mid 70's 'Live And Unreleased' stint with the
Pink Fairies, half the members of Entombed, Andrew
Eldritch, The Dictators ca. "Manifest Destiny" and
"Blood Brothers", Roky Erickson, Bon Lozanga,
Terence Stamp, Captain Jesus And The Sunray Dream,
Larry from The Mooseheart Faith, Morgoth, Gong,  Alex
Morgon of T.S.O.L., Batman and Robin, H.R. Giger,
Renate Knaup, Kurt Vonnegut or just fucking dead
uncle fucking Dracula, the jehovah, fucking Satan, or
whomever you may still fucking be, loverboy... we love
you..."
-Hare Charlie Krsna Yuga

"still teaching goths how to take apart and
disassemble machine guns in the 21st century"

(c) 2001-2002 Charlie Yuga
superskrull666 at yahoo.co.uk
http://bloomingdales.dreamstation.com/pulp/

---
"A 'Bowie-Shag' is when you miss your vein."
- Dr. Crabstix, Nazi Deadhead Commando And Paramedic
Hippy Emergency General

You can take the Beatle out of Uncle Charlie, but you
can't take Uncle Charlie out of The Beatles!"
- Bastard Ceremonial Proverb Of The Immortal
Blasphemers Of Sodom

"There remains nothing but juggernauting the
Apocalypse Übersoul through the constant avalanche of
dying bodies!"
- Tubrok The Alterer, Paramilitary Ascendant Archangel
Of Christ And Avenging Jehovah Of The Revalations

"I actually saw Motörhead play at least seven fucking
times, right, but I only remembered to bring my
fucking woman along just once!"
- The Cannibal Swinger, King Of Romania



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