Fw: Fw: Ever Wonder

[Natalie ELLIS]

----- Original Message -----
From: "Siouxsie Hacking" <siouxsiehacking at hotmail.com>
To: <ben.steer at which.co.uk>; <buffie.cox at virgin.net>;
<cebailey at blueyonder.co.uk>; <Claire.Gaynor at reuters.com>;
<colin at aiscontractclean.force9.co.uk>; <fhi at fhirentals.freeserve.co.uk>;
<GB.JCRELLIN at STEELCASE-EUROPE.COM>; <LSteer at somerset.gov.uk>;
<maggie_haworth at hotmail.com>; <natalie at glitterbug.fslife.co.uk>;
<r.crellin at colart.co.uk>; <smel_s at hotmail.com>; <TanyaLouiseW at aol.com>;
<verona.harvey at talk21.com>
Sent: Thursday, January 09, 2003 4:38 PM
Subject: Fwd: Fw: Ever Wonder


>
>
> You've probably seen these before....
>
>
>
>
> > > > EVER WONDER...
> > > >
> > > > ...why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
> > > >
> > > > ...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
> > > >
> > > > ...why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
> > > >
> > > > ...why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
> > > >
> > > > ...why doctors call what they do "practice"?
> > > >
> > > > ...why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
> > > >
> > > > ...why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing
> >liquid
> > > > is made with real lemons?
> > > >
> > > > ...why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
> > > >
> > > > ...why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?
> > > >
> > > > ...who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?
> > > >
> > > > ...why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
> > > >
> > > > ...why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
> > > >
> > > > ...why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for
> >the
> > > > indestructible black box ?
> > > >
> > > > ...why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
> > > >
> > > > ....why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
> > > >
> > > > ...if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of
> >progress?
> > > >
> > > > ...why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because
> >of
> > > > stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer
goods.
> > > >
> > > > On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (and that's the
only
> >time
> > > > I have to work on my hair).
> > > >
> > > > On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
> >details
> > > > inside. (the shoplifter special)?
> > > >
> > > > On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and
that
> >would
> > > > be how???....)
> > > >
> > > > On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but,
> >it's
> > > > "just" a suggestion).
> > > >
> > > > On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside
> > > > down."(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
> > > >
> > > > On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after
heating."
> > > > (...and you thought????...)
> > > >
> > > > On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but
> > > > wouldn't this save me more time?)
> > > >
> > > > On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate
> >machinery
> > > > after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate
> >of
> > > > construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with
> > > > head-colds off those forklifts.)
> > > >
> > > > On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm
taking
> >this
> > > > because???....)
> > > >
> > > > On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use
only."
> >(as
> > > > opposed to...what?)
> > > >
> > > > On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
> >(now,
> > > > somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
> > > >
> > > > On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news
> >flash)
> > > >
> > > > On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet,
> >eat
> > > > nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
> > > >
> > > > On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not
> >enable
> >you
> > > > to fly."
> > > >
> > > > I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for
> > > > this one
> > > >
> > > >       On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your
> >hands."
> > > >
> > > >       (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
> > > >
> > > >        Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to
spread
> >the
> > > >       stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile
to
> > > >       (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone.
We
> >all
> > > >       need to smile every once in a while.
> > > >
> > > >
>
>
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