(off topic ) destroyed sphere/ no room anywhere out here

[mike coleman]

dear Boc-L as a whole
no silliness or BS with this, only SLIGHT exaggeration:
it occurs to me that I am fast returning to old bad habits, namely
self-restraint regarding posts, etc
Part of the reason I returned here is that my guilty concious wanted certain
parties to witness my "real time" degeneration into what may become an
adviser and hopefully NOT an obstacle.
I sit here shivering with despair since I have taken a liking to telling
people I will remove their heads at a time when money is squeaking so
tightly and causing me mortal fear since I can't put much on a job
application....(lonely)
The fact that I have no family nor unconditional love is tearing my soul
apart piece by gruelling piece
thank the sweet heavens for a wee bit of the ol' mishma or I'd actually make
calls to find a mental ward (again)
I need one but there is none
This apartment gets not ONE television channel, and it's been trendy for a
couple years, but I think it would help slow my posting if I had it
*I am NOT seeking sympathy.....maybe hoping HW will still feed my brain ,
but this is not whining*
*I am proud to pay my debt, awful as it is*
*If I can't relax a bit, I really will unsubscribe and leave my email, in
case one person wants it*
*love!!*
*mike c*